Guest have to stand at a wedding?

Does anyone think it's strange to ask 45 guests to stand throughout a wedding ceremony? This is a requirement at a botanical gardens... beautiful wedding site... but their wedding coordinator thinks this isn't strange at all. What do you think?

Guest have to stand at a wedding?
Only a bit strange. I think it'd be important to keep the ceremony brief and to speak to the coordinator about making arrangements for any elderly or infirm guests. At the least, they should be able to accommodate a few sitters.





Also, you might want to rethink the arrangement of the wedding itself. What if you invited your guests to stand in a circle and your wedding took place in the middle of that circle? That way, your guests would have a better view of the proceedings and you'd have a greater sense of their presence, as if your nearest and dearest really were surrounding you on your special day.





It'd be particularly cool to conclude the wedding with some sort of congregational singing--pick a song many people are likely to know and provide them with both words and music in your program--instead of a traditional recessional march. Have you ever seen the early 90s film version of Little Women? They do something similar, and it's quite sweet.
Reply:This is pretty common, I think, for botanical gardens and historic estates. I know of one local mansion, that is very popular for weddings, that does not allow any chairs to be used on the grounds. (Photographers are also not allowed to use tripods if they are shooting pictures of the grounds, etc.)





It's all done to protect the grounds. Stan Hywett (the mansion I know) is famous for it's gardens and the damage could be spectacular if they started allowing chairs and such.





Definitely warn your guests that most will not have seats so they are dressed according, and make sure that the 10 chairs you are allowed to have are reserved for those guests who most need them (not just the first 10 people who show up).
Reply:There's a botanical garden here that requires the same. Sometimes it's just a matter of space (there just aren't chairs) sometimes it's a matter of landscaping (the chairs would put holes and indentations in the ground). They usually can agree to special accommodations (for the disabled, ederly, etc.) but the vast majority of your guests are gonna have to stand.





Now, if you're doing a civil ceremony that's only 15 minutes long, no one's probably gonna care. But if it's substantial at all (I'd say 20 minutes or more) that venue's just not gonna be for you!
Reply:Not strange for the location if this is how they design their wedding packages. Different ceremony sites have different requirements, so if someone picked this as their site, they had to have known going in that it was SRO and that many many other brides have done it before. In a Catholic wedding ceremony, people stand and sit throughout for mass.





My concern with all of the guests standing would be getting good photo or video shots of the ceremony. Usually the photo/videographers are the only ones standing.
Reply:It depends on how long the ceremony is. If the ceremony is under 30 minutes I would say it's alright. However, you should consider asking the gardens people if you can have a few seats for any seniors who may not be able to stand for very long. My grandmother would never be able to stand for more than 10 minutes without being in a lot of pain.
Reply:The coordinator probably brushes it off because she has to fill the date!!





But you are correct. It is strange to make guests stand at a wedding, and in my opinion, rude. If the venue will not provide seating, it doesnt sound like they are very accommodating to your guests. No matter how beautiful it is, I wouldnt have my wedding there.
Reply:It's not strange, that's the nature of it. They don't want a bunch of chair legs digging into the ground and ruining it. It sounds like a beautiful setting, it will be great! I've been to several weddings (including one on the beach) where we had to stand, no big deal. But do try to keep the ceremony short, 20 minutes max.
Reply:It is the way it is at some locations because they simply do not have the room for chairs or the chairs can mess up the scenery. I would ask however that a few chairs be on-site for elderly or handicapped guests. P.S. Try to keep the ceremony as short as possible.
Reply:I think it's fine. At our wedding there are 140 guests, and it is outside at a park. chair rentals for outdoor stuff around here is $8 per chair--- for 140 people, thats insanely expensive. So, what we did was put on our invites--- Ceremony is outdoors, please bring your own seating.---


Since you can have 10 chairs for those who need them, it should be fine. I see nothing weird about it at all.
Reply:Who cares what the wedding coordinator thinks ? Its not her wedding.....tell her you want chairs....even folding chairs would be better than expecting people to stand for 45 minutes ! I wouldnt go to a wedding that I had to stand for that long ! I have never heard of such a thing ? Congradulations
Reply:i think its very strange... wedding ceremonies are long... they should sit throuh out the boring stuff and stand during the vows and the i do part.. .but please dont make them stand up.. they will not enjoy that ... especially if they have kids...





you want your wedding to be a joyful memory not a dreadful experience... you know hwat i mean
Reply:Its not strange, but what if there are people who can't stand for a long period of time(like more than 15 mins)? I'd say see if you can have a couple of chairs for elderly or disabled guests. If not then keep the ceremony short.
Reply:It is not that weird, although I would make sure that elderly guests have a place to sit during the ceremony.





In gardens they often prohibit chairs because it can ruin the grass and gardens
Reply:Its odd, but they make the rules.


So long as the ceremony isn't an hour long and they would make an exception for elderly or disabled people to possibly bring a chair, I see no real problem with it.
Reply:I can see why the botanical garden doesn't want a bunch of chairs set up and I don't think it'll kill anyone to stand. I've stood at every outdoor wedding I've gone to. Just keep the ceremony short.
Reply:wow thats going to be a long time the guest have to stand, i think it is strange i have never seen or heard of that before, maybe you should tell them youre opinion and see what they think=)
Reply:Doesn't sound strange at all. In fact at orthodox jewish weddings, standing through the ceremony is the norm. Although if people are elderly or disabled, they are of course allowed to sit.
Reply:If I had 45 guests stand, I would make certain the ceremony was 15 minutes. That's terrible. Because only the people in the front will see the ceremony... most people will just hear it.
Reply:not really strange...just their preference.


personally, i wouldn't have people standing for the 45 min ceremony. however, it's not my wedding.
Reply:No big deal, I have been to several weddings that did this. Typically an outdoor wedding doesn't last more than 20-25 minutes.
Reply:I have gone to an outside wedding at a park and we all had to stand. I didnt see anything wrong with it at all. The ceremony was only about 20 minutes long
Reply:I think it is very strange..and sometimes people who are older or have problems can't stand throughout a whole wedding ceremony..
Reply:very strange. What if you have an elderly person who can't stand that length of time or someone with a disability who needs to sit? Think you should get it resolved with 45 chairs or find someplace else.
Reply:Different- I would say- prewarn people on the invites because I wore 4" heels, I would be ready to kill you. But if people know- then they will wear the proper shoes.
Reply:I've been to a couple weddings where this was the requirement. That being said, neither was not a long ceremony.
Reply:My cousin just got married this last weekend and I guess there was quite a few people who ended up having to stand because there wasnt enough seating..soooo, I dont think its strange.
Reply:as long as there are some chairs for the elderly and the ceremony isn't longer than 20 mins that's OK
Reply:if it is at a small house nad the cermony is 25 minutes, no.
Reply:It's not strange. it's the way it is.
Reply:Yup definately sounds dumb
Reply:yea it's kinda crazy. let people know in advance so they don't wear the wrong shoes.

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