I want to sleep with him on the first date. . . .should I?

Met a wonderful guy this weekend at a charity art function. Spent most of the evening with him and his lifelong best friend (and his best friend's wife). We went out together afterwards. He paid for everything. Held the door. Total gentleman. Great conversation, spontaneity, and fun! And lots of flirting! I think his friends really liked me (and I liked them too!) At the end of the night, he walked me to my car and kissed me goodnight, asked me to have dinner with him sometime. He called me yesterday and asked me out. We are going bird watching at the botanical garden then dinner at my favorite restaurant. Thing is, even though we've met only once, I think we're ready to be together. Normally I'd be TOTALLY against going that fast. But I've never felt tis chemistry and safety before . . .What should I do???

I want to sleep with him on the first date. . . .should I?
Definitely not! You'll give him the impression that you do this all the time. Instead just give him a passionate kiss to let him know there's more where that came from to build up the tension.
Reply:Please don't. He will respect you more for it, and this "chemistry" will have a better chance of sticking with the two of you if you wait. He sounds like marriage material (or at least long-term-relationship-material) and both won't last long if you jump this part. Relax and enjoy his company, and get to know him better before consumating anything. Trust me, you'll have a more meaningful relationship later if you just wait. And you won't regret it if it turns out to be just a one night stand.
Reply:No. Even though there's chemistry, many a potential relationship has been ruined by sleeping together too soon. Makes him think that's how you are always and how can you really dispute that when you did it with him? It's better to hold the 3 date rule lol... then you won't be writing to us in a week or so asking why you haven't heard from him when your chemistry was so incredible....
Reply:Deffinately dont sleep with him. He will think of it like this. You are that easy to sleep with, who else could get you that easy. That is a turn off to most guys. Me and my guy friend were talking about that yesterday actually. If he does sleep with you chances are he will mess around or he wont call you again. Act like a lady and play hard to get... but dont be cocky about it. Dont act better than him. Just dont kiss him or sleep with him on the first date. Trust me if he doesnt stick around after this..., he's no good anyways
Reply:Wait.


There is no harm in dragging it out. Make a game of it and tease yourself by putting it off as long as you can. It sounds like you have good chemistry there and if you have sex with him too quickly, he'll think less of you.





Even if you have a "decent" relationship afterwards, he will be more suspicious of when you are away from him, on business trips, out with other men and so forth. Women who jump into bed quickly show weakness and are more likely to have an affair. So, pace yourself. Try to wait, at least, a few weeks. You'll benefit in the long run.
Reply:Consider this:





If you take things too fast you stand a chance of creating a relationship based solely on a sexual relevance. Give it some time so that you can get to know each other more in depth and if you still feel the same way you can base your desision in a better light. The more you get to know each other, the more special your first time will be. Anticipation only hightens the experience.
Reply:oh gosh! look the reason youre feeling different about this guy is becuase he's different from all the other guys you've dated. they have different personalities from each other and you just happen to like his way better. but doesnt mean you should disrespect yourself by being TOO EASY on the first date. you dont even know him that well. what if he's carrying stds? ever thought about that? people just seem to not take that into consideration becuase once you have it, you live with it for the rest of your life until an expensive cure is available. whats the rush? and what will this accomplish? who knows, you'd probably be fufilling his plan way early and he'll leave you. be a woman with class.
Reply:I think that you should just GO with the flow, I wouldn't go all out and jump his bones...as in you initiating it...but if you like him and feel that he has a good understanding of who you are and what you are about (and not think less of you) then be open to the possibilities! I hope you two have a wonderful date!
Reply:NO! Holy moley!





First you describe him as a "total gentleman," and you want to ruin that with buck-an-hour hooker behavior? Keep it together, girl.





Let the lovemaking stage develop as it will - don't fling yourself at him. If he's the gentleman you say he is, he'll be so revolted he'll drop you right there.
Reply:i know you want to ,BUT dont! youve gotta get to know him better. find out who he really is, his character, his values, etc. as a woman your the one whose vulnerable in this situation not him! what if you sleep with him, get prego, he turns out to be an irresponsible jerk, and your left to raise your child alone (all because he seemed nice)? it could happen......but only if you let it.





be smart, dont do it!
Reply:Nice one but you are old enough to do decide for yourself but when you fall in love be ready to get hurt. I don't want to discredit the new guy but you have to put a big mattress to support you if you fall.





Playing with fire you will get burn. It's not yet advisable for my personal opinion. Try reading Kiss Dating Goodbye first then Decide- interact- ponder-act
Reply:My opinion...sounds like he totally respect you!! If you do move so fast so soon he most likely won't be giving you a call back but for only one thing!!! Then the dates and romance will stop and you'll be left wondering what happened!!


DON"T DO IT!! It's much better to wait and let that chemistry build up even more ...enjoy what you have right now!!


Once you do it.. what do you have left to look forward to??Same with this guy??
Reply:If hes as good of a guy as he completely seems, WAIT!





GOOD guys will respect you more for not giving into every temptation and for being respectful to him and yourself. And more than anything both of your feelings.





If he is a good guy, and then you sleep with him on the first date or one of the first few dates, you may look really trashy..





And if hes a good guy; Thats probably not what he wants! He wants something real..





Keep that in mind. :)
Reply:I wouldn't right now. i mean u don't really want to jump wright into things and u don't want to give him th wrong message. u don't want to give him the wrong immpression saying that u just every other girl that would just give her self to a guy. keep him on his toes. tell him about ourself but no too much. guys are like birds and u a the person carring bread . if u put a little peaice of information out each time u will keep him wanting. more
Reply:My fiance and I had sex the first night. It is suggestive and later whether you realize it now you will feel diffeently if you are with him later on. Especially if it lasts between the two of you. I dont reccomend it. Let the tntion build it makes it more interesting. My grandma always siad why buy the cow if the milk is free. Make him work for it.
Reply:Sounds like you had a great evening with him, but thats just it, it was only one evening. I think you owe it to yourself to wait for this one. You shouldn't have to ask yourself if its the right time, you should just know and if you don't know, than by all means don't do it!
Reply:I wouldn't sleep with him, but if you guys want to get into some heavy petting go for it. I guess I figure he can wait a little bit for the whole thing. If you have a lot of chemistry that's great, but don't ruin a potentially good long term thing because of hormones. =)
Reply:Please for the love of god don't do it. Its easy to feel chemistry, but if its truly chemistry then it will still be there if you don't have sex. If you put out too early then he will loose self respect for you. Please, if you like him....wait ....at least three months or two months. He will respect you more if you respect your body. Good luck
Reply:I wouldn't because he will think you are easy. That may completely ruin your chances for a good relationship. Hold out for a while. See what kind of a man he is after you go on a couple of dates. Maybe even talk about it with him (and hope it doesn't scare him off). You don't want him to think you do that with every guy you meet, do you?
Reply:I'm not one to give advice since that's exactly how it went down with my husband after our first date....but the general rule I would go with is "DON'T!" You might get lucky....but the truth is you really don't know the guy. Besides, he might not even be into a first night tryst. You don't want to come across as desperate.
Reply:honey, he sounds great and even if he isn't, sleep with him. what do you have to lose? i mean i think it'll just spark the attraction more.





but there's also the possibility he's one of those types who don't like "slutty" girls and that might turn him off.





tough choice, go with instinct. and hey if you really wanna bang him anyways, bang him,.
Reply:Sure go ahead and sleep with him on the first date.... if you don't care if he never calls you again.





Trust me, it's all different once you sleep with him. The chase is over and if it was short and easy, he will lose interest and respect for you.
Reply:Chemistry or lust of just the thought of someone who wants to do other things is appealing to you. But sex on a first date is a little risky. It might be his way of seducing you by telling you everything you want to hear.
Reply:why should you? because that would be wrong. don't do it because the Lord Jesus Christ came down and died for all of our sins and we should love him because, who else would or could die for everybody on earth? Love Jesus and respect his laws. Please write back if you have any questions. PLEASE!!
Reply:u shouldnt need ppl that u dont know 2 tell u what u should and shouldnt do with ur body .. its ur choice ..thank the 60's and the sexual revelution ur choice... if u want him fuc*k him .. its not a big deal ..but if u dont want to get hurt dont get to many fealing involved and pleasure ur self than date him and if u trust him over time it might become more but just go get layed if u want his body
Reply:If you have no self-repect for your body , how do you expect anyone else to respect you. Therfore the answer i would give is no. Maybe the person you like will respect you more for not giving yourself so freely if the relationship develops into more. Good luck.
Reply:Guys can pull of perfect gentleman long enough for you to compromise your honor and then pull out the carefully packed away king of donkeys personality. Save it if he is worth it he will be glad you did.
Reply:hey i have been there too... um i say wait, because it seems all that "niceness" goes right out the door once you give up the goods.





I know its hard and you may be wanting to test that out, but DONT DO IT. WAIT!!!





he will definitely respect you more.
Reply:I wouldnt I really understand where ur commin from i promise!! really!! But i would force my self to at least hold off just a little longer because what if after u do it its really weird or something ya know just anything he could have some sort of disease or something think this out a persons nice attitude only goes so far when stuff goes deeper and arent all guys nice when u meet them??? see!! Hope It helps ya gurl but if u decide 2 any ways use protection -pregnancy-stds- and anything else!! GooD Luck !!!!!
Reply:I think you should go on a couple of more dates and see if there's something about him that you might not like. Wait before you might do something you regret.





But good job finding a wonderful guy. I'd kill for one of those.
Reply:if you feel so safe, u should wait. because he seems like a real nice guy if u try to sleep with him 2 soon he might not be as interested because he seems so nice.


leave it a while...a few more dates.


i hopee it works out bcause he sounds like a keeper!