Catholic Wedding Craziness? HELP?

Alright. My fiance and I are both Catholic. I went to a Catholic high school and a Catholic college and I attend mass every Sunday (at my college). I'm very religious, but I have never been confirmed, although I was baptized Catholic, and I was raised Catholic (by my grandmother, I wasn't confirmed because my mother does not think she belongs to the Catholic Church anymore since she got divorced). My fiance is also Catholic; he was baptized and confirmed, but he does not attend mass regularly (he works when I go, but I know he just finds it boring).





My fiance is getting deployed in July, and we are getting married in June. I would love to be married by a Catholic priest. However, I thought you couldn't be married by a priest unless you notified the priest 6 months in advance. But now I'm told that's only if you actually want to get married INSIDE the church. I'm having my wedding at a botanical garden. Can I still be married by a Catholic priest? Please help???

Catholic Wedding Craziness? HELP?
You need to go talk to Catholic priests, not us to find your answers. All I know is that it can vary from church and priests.
Reply:Typically you are required to attend several months of classes at the church before you are married. If you aren't confirmed you do so in the course of the classes. Also, you must have a Bishop's permission to have a Catholic ceremony outside of the church. So I would say it would be difficult but not impossible to get everything figured out in time for your fiancé's deployment.
Reply:A priest can only perform a wedding inside a church.


Also, how far ahead notification is needed depends upon the priest and parish. Sometimes it's six months, in a bigger parish it might be a year - so planning can be made for premarital counselling classes, etc.
Reply:Most priests will not marry you outside of a church, since a wedding is a sacred ceremony. You can try talking to the priest at school for general information. Maybe he can refer you to someone.





This is from the U.S. Bishops site:


"5. Why does a Catholic wedding have to take place in a church?





For Catholics, marriage is not just a social or family event, but a church event. For this reason, the Church prefers that marriages between Catholics, or between Catholics and other Christians, be celebrated in the parish church of one of the spouses. Only the local bishop can permit a marriage to be celebrated in another suitable place.





6. If a Catholic wishes to marry in a place outside the Catholic church, how can he or she be sure that the marriage is recognized by the Catholic Church as valid?





"The local bishop can permit a wedding in another church, or in another suitable place, for a sufficient reason. For example, a Catholic seeks to marry a Baptist whose father is the pastor of the local Baptist church. The father wants to officiate at the wedding. In these circumstances, the bishop could permit the couple to marry in the Baptist church. The permission in these instances is called a "dispensation from canonical form."'
Reply:A Catholic wedding may only be performed in a Catholic church. No priest will marry you in a garden or anyplace other than the church.
Reply:I think they will only perform a ceremony if it is in a church. Every church is different though, it wouldn't hurt to ask.
Reply:I just wanted to point out that there is a little bit of misinfo in Kris's answer. I'm sure you (the asker) know this as you've been in the Catholic Church all your life but for Kris. Recieving the Eucharist and Confirmation are two DIFFERENT Rites in the Catholic Church. Most people have their First Communion (or First Eucharist) in the 2nd or 3rd grade of religion/Sunday school at this time they also start Confession. There after it is NOT a sin to recieve the Eucharist. Confirmation is usually done in High School. It is basically the end of Sunday School and a confirmation that your beliefs and loyalty lie within the Catholic Church and that you will not stop learning from God just because you have stopped school.





As far as getting married by a Catholic priest as far as I understood BOTH the bride and the groom must have all their rites (baptised, recieved first eucharist, and confirmation) before they can be married AND it MUST be in the Catholic Church. However, with people's views changing and even the Catholic Church loosening up on certain rules it may vary from priest to priest. I'm sure your school isn't the ONLY Catholic establishment around. Talk to the others in your area, explain your situation and see what they say.
Reply:A Priest I believe can marry you outside if its still inside the church grounds( I'm Catholic and a few couples have got married out side in the church rose garden) but even then they still have done the six months (but in your case it could be sped up )so no he can't marry you at the botanical garden!





To be married in the church only one half off the couple has to be Catholic so you not been confirmed does not matter unless you want to be confirmed which your Preist could help you with!





I would talk to your Priest for advice he may know of a place where you can be married outside by a priest. or helping you get permission from the church to( from the Pope well high up in the church) marry outside the church(takes a long time) or best idea have your outside wedding then when he comes back have your vowels blessed in the Catholic church!
Reply:Hi. Since I am Catholic myself, here is my two-cents.





I have never heard of a Catholic priest that won't marry couples (because it's a college church)? Hmmm....are you correct in that? Have you asked them? All priests have the authority to marry couples, so....if that is true, then they are just not wanting to do this service for whatever reason. I don't know why.





In any case, a Catholic priest will only marry you INSIDE the church (as far as I know). They ARE willing to bend the 6-month rule probably for military people, but you would need to ask.





Call a priest and ask them these questions! That is the only true way to get your answer. Ask the priest at the college church that you attend. Maybe he is willing to do it outside....maybe not.
Reply:A Catholic wedding is a mass with the 'vows' being just a part of the mass, and you can't have a full mass (which is necessary in a Catholic wedding) on non-consecrated grounds without the Archbishop of your diocese 'blessing' the area, and they do that ONLY when the church is being 'fixed' and the masses can't be held in the churth ... this is usually on the grounds of a Catholic high school nearby. So ... see if you can't find an Episcopal priest who will marry you. That marriage will be 'legal' in the Roman Catholic church. You couldn't get married in a Catholic church, since you aren't confirmed, and if you take the Eucharist, you are technically sinning unless you have told the priest and gotten his permission to take the Eucharist (also a very important part of a Roman Catholic wedding). An Episcopal priest CAN marry a person when the wedding is not on consecrated ground, and since you are a 'baptised' Catholic, will give you the Eucharist (an Episcopal wedding is also a full mass) but 'with exception' ... that is basically just a 'legal phrase' meaning he's giving you permission to take the Eucharist in 'another' Catholic church (which the Episcopalian church is) that one time ... So ... call the Episcopal church in the area nearest to the botanical garden you want to get married in ... but if that priest won't, just work your way outward until you find a priest who says s/he will do the wedding. You may have a female priest, but I think that the 'marriage' will be a true marriage in the eyes of God. Good luck, and please take RCIA and get confirmed ... you will be a new 'jewel' in the Roman Catholic crown! (I'm a converted Catholic who was an Episcopalian for 15 years before my conversion ... and I know several 'Roman' priests who are married because they converted and retained their priesthood after conversion ...